Double Mega Cheesy Steak and Bean

The core component of the world's most addictive fast foods is slurry. It is the stuff that you think about when you are about to drive into the Super Burger Taco Fryer Thunder drive-through. The delicate sauce on the bottom of the burger bun, a slurry of mayonnaise and meat juice. The substance in Taco Bell products- mysterious red sauce and chopped onion intermixing with melted cheese and bean stuff- again, gushy, delicious slurry. Even the sandwich chains exploit this marvelous substance: think about the mush formed in a Subway sandwich by the oil, vinegar, and vegetable/pickle juices, or, way better, Firehouse Subs, with their slurry of piquant sauces and discharge from fatty cooked meats.

Most comfort foods are thick liquids of some kind, but since fast foods are hastily assembled the fast food slurry is almost always composed of ingredients that have just met each other. Compare this with a thick tasty slow food like potage ambassadeur, where the bacon and the peas have been dating for several years before they even began the long, slow simmer of marriage. Fast food slurries are anonymous drunk sex in a club bathroom by comparison. Still, they're both tasty thickened liquids- why does the fast food version incite such wanton lust?

I hypothesize that the big draw to the fast food slurry is a roguish human attraction to opportunity. Journey back in time for a moment. A prehistoric fast food item is basically what you would have gotten if you nipped a bit of food from every person in the tribe into a big starch object. Nuki's Antelope Surprise, Nurg's Green Thing, King Cuchacho's Lemur Cheese, it all goes into the flatbread. Like modern fast food, you would cram it down your gullet, although not because you were late for work but because if he were found with the ill-gotten breakfast there's a better than even chance you would be killed and eaten. It gives the dollar menu a whole new significance.

Anyway, the fast food slurry- i.e., a thick liquid resulting from the liquids of many already prepared and/or cooked ingredients- is something easily replicated in the home. Last night I sought to come up with a Taco Bell-like slurry item and had what I thought was a reasonable success. It went something like this . .

Meat
12 oz steak
Badia Brand Fajita Seasoning. This is one of the best prepackaged spice mixes in existence.

Beans
6 oz dry black beans
1 onion, chopped
1 tblsp chopped garlic
4 tblsp fresh salsa, or some tomato product
1 tblsp chicken soup base
1 tsp rosemary
1 tsp paprika
2 bay leaves
2 tblsp Olive oil
2.25 cups water

ALTERNATE BEANS
1 can black beans

ASSEMBLY
6 oz cheddar cheese, shredded
2 large flour torillas
Canola oil

Liberally dust your steak with fajita seasoning. I used a 3/4" thick strip steak for this, so take note- if you use a different cut it will affect the cooking time.

In the pot of your pressure cooker, fry the onions and garlic in olive oil until soft.Add everything else, set on high pressure for 30 minutes, natural pressure release. Drain extra liquid. Fish out the bay leaves. Yes, the beans are not super soft. They will provide a little texture contrast to our beef and cheese slurry. ALTERNATIVELY, open a can of black beans.

When the coals are ready, cook the steak 3-4 minutes per side on high heat, until rare or medium rare. Try to go rare, because there is more heat coming up for this hunk o flesh.

Put some canola oil in a pan and put on a burner on medium heat.

Slice your meat into strips 1/4 inch thick. Go for bite size pieces, so pulling out a strip doesn't decompile the burrito.

Heat your tortilla 30 seconds in the microware to soften. Lay down the tortilla. Put down half the shredded cheese, then half the sliced steak, then cover with beans. Not too much, you can always have leftover beans. Fold up the ends of the tortilla over the filling, then roll tight, one side over, then the other side over. Put it in the hot pan seam side down (the last side you folded), then fry until brown and crisp on the bottom. Flip carefully and do the same with the other side. Put a plate over it, hand on the plate, flip pan and plate, and you've got a nicely toasted and plated burrito, seam side down. I do this flip trick with frittatas a lot.

Repeat the last paragraph with the other tortilla.

What happens inside this containment unit is the beans drop some moisture to the not-entirely-cooked meats, which then drop grease and liquid into the cheese, which melts with these two liquids, providing us with our faux-fast-food slurry food product.

Consume very quickly before anyone sees you.